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At
the end of October 1994 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was
aged 45 and in my first year at art school. I subsequently
had a quarter of my left breast removed and lost the whole summer
to radiation treatment. Starting back for my second year of study
was difficult. I found I lacked energy, was often depressed and lost
confidence in my artistic ability. I had difficulty talking about my
experience and felt ashamed that I had had the disease.
In 1996,
at the beginning of my third year, I decided to take a look at what had
happened to me and try to make some sense of it in an artistic way. The
problem was how to express those feelings of fear, isolation and
sadness that had at times overwhelmed me, combined with that strange
sense of euphoria which kept me going through my treatment.
At first
I tentatively drew pictures of myself and did some small paintings but
somehow I couldn't get out what I wanted to say. I started to use other
media, making breast shapes from wax and silicon and one day I came
across a black lacy bra which I felt I could no longer wear. I hung it
up on my studio wall together with a mirror at breast height. It was
totally random but somehow it seemed to speak volumes. I began to look
at how we view ourselves as women and how having breast cancer affects
our self esteem.
I started
to collect second-hand bras from op-shops and pinned them onto my
studio wall. Old bras seemed to speak of the history of women and I was
reminded that women come in all shapes and sizes. At last I had found a
more tactile way of representing my experience. I continued to develop
my ideas and at the end of 1996 I had my first public exhibition.
The
exhibition was in Annie's Wine Bar, Christchurch and was called "1/9"
(One Woman in Nine Will Fall Victim to Breast Cancer). It was a wall
installation which consisted of 18 peach toned second-hand bras with 2
having a cup missing. (See Album).
I
continued to create artworks from used bras and I graduated with a BFA
(Hons) in 1998. In 2001 I had an exhibition at the Centre of
Contemporary Art, Christchurch called "Integrated Fragments". This
brought together works which were made over a three year period,
documenting my journey through and beyond my cancer experience. From
this exhibition my bra sculpture "Pre-Occupied" was purchased by the
Robert McDougall Art Gallery, Christchurch, for their public
collection. (See Events).
I
continue to use second-hand bras to make artworks because I love their
sense of personal history and the fact that they have a physical
character which is unique to the wearer. They carry with them the
poignancy of identity, memory and loss, combined with a sense of the
absurd. By reclaiming them I am giving them a new identity and an added
touch of reverence.
Whilst
collecting bras for my work I have met many women who have had breast
cancer and I have been priviliged to hear their stories. I have
been impressed and humbled by their strength and courage, together with
their sense of humour. These women have been the catalyst for the
LIVLIF project.
My vision
was to fill the art gallery with bras from breast cancer survivors. I
wanted to show the positive statistics about survival so that women are
not always confronted by negative reports. I wanted women throughout
the country who have had breast cancer to stand side by side with me
and be counted so that we can show support for each other.
I also
wanted to make artworks from bras donated by women who are our
'supporters'. It is important that women who have not had breast cancer
have the chance to add their positive energy and goodwill to the
project's ideals. For many it has been an opportunity to pay tribute to
someone they know. | 
